Chapter 010 – Saving My Life Was Your ‘Fault’

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Chapter 010

Saving My Life Was Your ‘Fault’

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Friday, June 04, 2010; mid-afternoon

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We go to the Witchy store and Bonnie easily finds everything she needs and a couple of things she thinks she might need in the future.  As the shopkeeper rings up her purchases, I gently push her aside and open my wallet to take out my credit card, which prompts Bonnie to say, “Damon, you don’t have to pay for my purchases.  I’ve got enough to cover all this.”

I shake my head and point out, “Hey I tore into your throat and tried to kill you, for doing the right thing no less, so the least I can do is pay for the Witchy supplies you wouldn’t even be buying if it wasn’t for my brothers and me.”

Despite my reminding her that I tried to kill her she giggles and says, “Okay, Gramps,” before she kisses my cheek and moves out of the way so I can pay with my black Amex card.  I chuckle as I see several sets of eyes go wide when my family sees it.  I mean I’ve been pretty up front that I’m beyond wealthy.  I’d be an idiot if I were poor after 170 years never mind 490,454 years.  Plus, they’ve now seen two of my homes.  Not to mention my talk earlier of owning many houses, hotels, and other businesses the world over but clearly they’ve never actually seen a black card before.

I hear Elena whisper to Care, “Is that a Black Amex card?”

When Care nods Elena confides, “I only know they exist because my dad’s college buddy bragged about giving his wife one when they came over for dinner back when I was 13 or 14.”

I smile because honestly, I don’t really think about my money at this point in my life.  I pay other people to manage it and maintain my aliases and all the paper trails.  Those people are themselves Vampires and descendants of mine, so they’re discreet, and they know not to fuck with me or what’s mine.

Somehow, Drago and Damon use the same financial managers and the most involved I’ve been in recent years is this year when I had to deal with everything I inherited from the tomb Vamps as well as Pearl and Anna.

I actually called my money-men the other day to check on Drago’s assets and was very pleased to find that not only have my assets and aliases been maintained but also my wealth has been properly managed and has grown considerably through the years, even more than I would have expected.

Anyway, I pay the shopkeeper, and as we exit the store carrying several bags between Elena and Bonnie, I ask, “So what are we in the mood to eat for dinner?  There’s a grocery store a couple of blocks from the condo.  I can make just about anything thanks to my time at culinary school back in the ‘80’s, the 1980’s in case you’re wondering.  So anyway any requests?”

Jer barely has to think about his answer before he asks, “Can you do manicotti?  Uncle John used to make it and I haven’t had it in forever.”

Then as if he remembers that John is a sore topic for Elena he cringes and apologizes, “Sorry ‘Lena, we can have something else!”

She grabs his arm and as they walk arm in arm she smiles, and she tells us all, “It’s okay, I’ve pretty much made peace with John.  He finally stepped up and acted like my father and did what was best for me despite it literally killing him.  He left me in the care of two Vampire Brothers he repeatedly tried to kill because he finally realized that they would love me beyond my own death and that they would both do everything in their power to postpone my death for as long as possible.  He did all of that despite being raised to hate and despise all things Vampire.”

She smiles sadly as she continues, “He finally stopped being the uncle I loathed and only put up with for my dad and brother’s benefits and truly became my dad.  I actually kind of miss him now and wish I had longer to get to know him without him wearing his hate goggles every time Damon and Stefan came up in conversation.  So while I’m skeptical that Damon can make some manicotti as good as John did I’m down with him trying if everyone else is okay with that.”

I chuckle at her challenge and tell her, “Challenge accepted, ‘Lena.”

Everyone agrees that manicotti is good so we head to the store to pick up what I need.  While we are there Care asks, “Oh can we have some lima beans with the pasta?  I haven’t had any in forever and I’m kind of in the mood for them.”

I’m a little surprised that a teenager likes lima beans but I smile and tell her, “Sure,” then I chuckle as Bonnie makes a face and pretends to gag so I ask, “Bonnie do you or the others have any requests?”

Bonnie smiles and tells me, “Broccoli would be awesome.’

I nod and add the broccoli to the cart then everyone else has a grand ole time listing off all the vegetables they like and making dirty faces whenever someone mentions one they can’t stand.  Finally, I put the vegetables to a family vote and Bonnie and her broccoli and, amazingly, Care and her lima beans win hands down.  However, instead of putting everything else back I smile and say, “We’re here at least three more nights to make the educational part of our trip more believable so we’ll have the rest then.”

All in all, I had a blast this afternoon and I think everyone else did too.  I notice everyone trying not to eavesdrop as Bonnie pulls me aside when we get back to the apartment.

We go into the hallway and she looks as though she could easily vibrate out of her skin she’s so excited as she quietly says, “I think Elijah already broke his spell.”

My slightly louder “What?  How?” probably turns everyone’s heads.

She explains what she knows and then finally we come back from the hallway and ‘Lena asks, “Everything alright?”

I nod and tell them, “Bonnie had a vision in the Witchy store that makes her think Elijah already broke his part of the spell.  She actually thinks he died protecting Katherine from some of Klaus’s goons just before she came to Mystic Falls the first time, a year or two before I guess.”

I look to Bonnie for confirmation and when she nods I continue, “I need everyone to pray to whatever higher power they believe in that her vision is accurate because that will save us a shit load of trouble trying to convince Elijah to fight with us against Klaus.”

‘Lena decides to play devil’s advocate as she asks, “Uh if he already remembers then why did he betray us for Klaus?  And didn’t you tell us on the ride here that the only way to kill you guys is tearing out your heart, so how did the dagger work if he’s already Balthazaar again?  Not to mention he wasn’t as strong as Damon is now so wouldn’t he have been stronger if he remembered?”

I know Bonnie has thoughts on all of that so I nod to her and she answers, “I have a couple of theories about all of that.  I think he thought he was going to help break uh Damon’s or maybe Stefan’s spell.  And despite everything he still remembers Klaus as his brother for over 1,000 years.  That’s a long time.  I mean think about it, ‘Lena and Jer, you’ve only known each other for less than 16 years and yet you would die for each other.  Technically your cousins not blood related siblings though I’m fully aware that you couldn’t be any closer to Brother and Sister despite who your respective biological parents were.  But just imagine believing for 1,000 years that you were siblings.  Think of how much stronger your bond would be.”

I take over, “And technically he and Klaus are brothers just as Stefan and I are since Elijah was born Human in that life.  So in his heart he probably felt torn between his loyalty for Dante and me and his loyalty, not so much for Klaus, as I truly believe he wanted him dead, but for his other brothers and his sister.  Once he knew they weren’t lost at sea forever he probably figured he was their only shot at freeing them.”

I pause as I take out the mixing bowl and my pasta maker and then tell them all, “I also think Bonnie’s right about his belief that his actions might spur one of us to break our part of the spell.  I mean think about it Stefan offered to take Jenna’s place.  That alone could have possibly done it, so I’m certain Elijah hoped saving one family would also in turn save the other.”

As I finish mixing the pasta dough and move it into the pasta machine, I tell my family, “What I’ve learned of him since we met in this life leads me to believe he is a deeply changed man who truly understands the meanings of love, loyalty, and honor.  Don’t get me wrong I loved Balthazaar and aside from my wife, he was probably the closest to already understanding those concepts though I’m sure his sister was probably the reason for his understanding just as she was mine.  She’s the most giving, loving, compassionate, and selfless person I’ve ever known, well except maybe for Elena, and I know her love for both of us was our saving grace more often than not.”

I begin cranking the machine and rolling the pasta as I tell them, “Now that I remember him as my best friend and brother and after Klaus daggering him I’m certain he’ll fight with us for Stefan and ultimately help us kill Klaus.  Although I also think he’s going to convince us to give his other siblings a chance to prove themselves and except possibly for the sister whom I know was very close to Klaus up until the ’20’s I think they’ll all follow Elijah’s lead.  That will be especially true after we flash a little power around and make them realize that I can take them all in my sleep with both hands tied behind my back.”

When I’m done rolling and then cutting the pasta I turn to the pot of boiling water and put the pasta in.  As the pasta cooks I tell them all, “Which for the record I’m 257 years older than Balthazaar, which is more than enough that I can honestly say him beating me would take an act of the Goddess or a once in a billion lucky shot to make happen, so I’m cautiously optimistic about tomorrow.  Still a few well worded prayers wouldn’t be uncalled for if anyone feels so inclined.”

Bonnie puts her hand on my back as I stand at the stove taking the now cooked pasta out of the water to begin filling them and rolling them into manicotti and says, “I have an idea.  I was reluctant to use it since I thought we’d need Elena to help convince him to help us but I might be able to talk to his consciousness while I sleep and let him know we’re coming to save him and that you remember everything now.”

She pauses then adds, “I can also let him know that we’re open to suggestions on how to free his siblings peacefully from their coffins without causing any unnecessary bloodshed.  If we’re right about him, it’ll give him time to ponder the situation and perhaps work out an idea that might not be thought of on the fly.”

I look at her and bend my knees a little so I can look right in her eyes, “How tiring will this spell be?  I know you have the power of more than 300 dead Witches now but you’ve already done some heavy-duty spells this week and you’re planning to do another tonight and then incapacitate a bunch of thousand-year-old Vampires for an undisclosed period of time tomorrow.  I won’t put you at risk if we can avoid it.”

At her dark look, I hold my hand holding the slightly cheesy spoon up as if I’m a cop directing traffic and showing a stop signal and tell her, “I’m not saying no.  I’m asking you to be frank about what you are and are not capable of doing without hurting yourself.  Frankly, you’re far more important to me than the other Originals.  I’m sure we can talk Elijah into keeping them daggered for a few more days if you need it, but I don’t want you to over extend yourself since I know you’re not ready to start taking my blood on a regular basis.  Which means no unnecessary risks.  So if you even remotely think it’s too much I want you to say so and we’ll go with the original plan.”

She smiles and nods before she kisses my cheek as I marvel at the idea that she’s really considering my turning her then she says, “Honestly I know it’s not needed, so I wouldn’t have mentioned it if I thought it would be too much.  All it basically will be is me finding him in the Aether and talking to him.  According to Tianna’s notes, my body will get a full night’s rest even if I spend the entire time from when my eyes close to when they open talking with him, so it should be relatively risk free.  You could even come with me and it wouldn’t affect me tomorrow.”

I seriously contemplate her words then I smile, kiss her cheek, and tell her, “You’re the resident Witch, so if you say it’s safe then I’ll trust you to know better than I do about this sort of thing.”

I pause then as I remember the last part she said I ask, “Do you want me to come with you?  I will if you want.”

She shrugs, “I mean on the one hand I feel I could be our representative but you interacted with him more than I did when he was in Mystic Falls, and if he truly does remember your previous lives then you being there would probably make more sense since he’s going to know immediately that he can trust you.  So yeah I guess I do kind of want you to come and nobody else feel left out or take this the wrong way but I have this gut feeling Jer needs to come too, but I don’t know why I feel that way.  Grams always told me, though, to listen when I get this feeling so I think me, Damon, and Jer should pile up in a bed tonight and go visit Elijah and try to figure out what we all should do.”

I think about it for a moment before looking at Jeremy, ‘What do you think, Little Gilbert?”

His eyes go wide and his mouth drops open so I add, “Don’t look so surprised that I’m asking for your opinion.  While all of us have had bad ideas on occasion I’m finding that the rest of us tend to talk us all out of our bad ideas with pretty regular success, and you’re no different.”

His jaw is still hanging open and he’s blinking slowly so I add, “I know you’re the youngest, but youngest does not equal stupid or unqualified to give meaningful input into any of our decisions.  You’re just as much a part of this family as the rest of us and this shit affects you just as much, maybe even more, since you’re Human, and if the Originals go nuts you’d be more likely to be at risk than me or Bonnie or even Care and Ty.”

I look him right in the eye and continue, “Furthermore, Bonnie has a gut feeling you should be there and I fully agree with her grams that gut feelings shouldn’t be ignored.  So as a member of this family in good standing would you mind giving up your sleeping hours to go try to help Elijah and us come up with a plan for dealing with his siblings.  Bonnie’s feeling leads me to believe something is going to spark an idea in your mind that she and I or even Elijah won’t think of.”

He smiles and thinks for a minute then says, “Thanks for the vote of confidence.  I don’t want you to think I think you treat me like a kid because generally you don’t, but I’m just a Human, so despite my ring I’m usually more of a liability than anything else.”

I half frown half smile as I interrupt, “Physically you’re weaker than most of us, but seriously Brother, you have a razor sharp mind and an unquenchable thirst for knowledge that totally makes up for any perceived liability you may be physically.  And even with you Human there are few people I’d want watching my back more than you.”

He beams at that and then says, “Okay, thanks, so yeah I don’t have any problem coming and trying to help if you really think I’ll be able to make a difference.  Bonnie are you sure taking three of us won’t put you at risk?”

Now he holds his hands up at the dark look she throws his way, “Don’t look at me like that, Bon.  I’m asking because I care.  Before you were talking about you and maybe Damon going, so if I go, I need to know that three people doesn’t change what you told us about the toll it’ll take on you.”

“Really guys, I could bring all of us there for years before it’d start to have a negative effect on me.”

He and I both nod and smile before he says, “Okay, then count me in.”

She smiles and kisses his cheek before stealing a tomato from the salad bowl that Tyler is slowly filling, so with a broad smile on my face I half-heartedly slap at her hand before she pops the vegetable into her mouth and smiles at me while slowly chewing her prize.  I scowl at her and tell her, “If you can’t keep your fingers out of the salad bowl I’m going to put you to work.”

She holds up her hands in surrender and tells me, “I’m worse in a kitchen than Elena, so in the interest of everyone else’s safety I’ll keep my fingers away from the food until you give me the go ahead.”

I smirk and tell her, “Thank you, Sister.”

She smirks back and replies, “You’re welcome, Brother.”

I smile big just as I have every time anyone has called me that throughout the day, and then I go back to stuffing the manicotti as I ask, “So you have theories about the dagger and his strength?”

She looks shocked as she laughs, “Oh yeah almost forgot, anyway I found the spell Tianna used on you guys so I believe based on the notes I found in her book, that the dagger would only work until he and one of the rest of you remember who you are.  If no one other than Balthazaar remembered, then the dagger would continue to work until two people remembered.  So essentially once more than one of you broke the spell the only ways to kill the ones who remember are the old ways not any of the ways that were true in the newer lives.  So now the only way to kill you and Elijah is to tear your hearts out, which according to Tianna is so impossible to accomplish it’s not even really an option.”

She frowns as she leans up against the counter as she stands beside me and says, “Truthfully, she wrote that the only reason pulling your hearts out works is technically to keep the balance within nature.  No creature can be truly immortal, but the thing is no one in existence is actually strong or fast enough when you are your true selves to be able to rip out your hearts.  Well that is except for you Drago, you could probably kill them all and Dante, Balthazaar, and Briseis could probably easily kill Lilith and Asya and each other if they’re the older of the fighting pair.”

I shrug as I stop what I’m doing to say, “With the exception of Briseis, I’ve had my hand on their hearts dozens of times each, so I’m pretty sure you’re right though, again with the exception of Briseis, they’ve all tried to do the same to me and failed.  They usually gave up after destroying wherever we were with our fight.  And FYI you’re right about them being able to best each other if they’re older.  They’ve threatened to tear out each other’s hearts so many times I’ve lost track.  Finally, to prevent a catastrophe, I had to promise to kill the victor if they actually killed any of us.  But it’s good to know that I can’t die from a stake in the heart anymore.”

She smiles glad about that too, then she tells me, “Yeah and in addition to pulling out their hearts death by fire will work for Asya and Lilith but not the rest of you since you and Dante are full-blooded Fire Demons and Balthazaar and Briseis are Elementals who can also control fire.  But even for Lilith and Asya to be killed by fire the fire would have to consume them entirely all at once like in an explosion or they’d heal too fast, which while it would be incredibly painful it wouldn’t actually kill them.”

I nod, “Lilith was badly burned once in a fire that killed several members of the other families that used the Pervonachalnyue spell but she managed to survive despite being badly burnt.”

She nods and smiles then continues, “Tianna actually wrote pages and pages about why she spelled you guys.  One of the reasons she decided to try to spell your family was that there was no way anyone besides you would physically be able to stop the others.  She knew you better than most, so she also knew you loved them and wouldn’t be able to bring yourself to kill them all even if it would save the world.”

I nod back sadly, “I actually talked to her about that a lot.  I was very conflicted for thousands of millennia.  On the one hand, I wanted to keep my family safe but on the other hand, I didn’t and couldn’t condone their behavior.  At the same time though I knew just as she did that I would never forgive myself if I killed them, and maybe a very small part of myself didn’t want Briseis and me to be alone, never mind that I would have had to kill Balthazaar if I killed Lilith, so Briseis probably would have hated me.”

I frown and sigh before telling all of them, “That’s part of the reason I’m not anywhere close to angry with Tianna.  When I said she dared to do what no one else could or would do, I was including myself in that statement.  I knew their behavior needed to be ended but I couldn’t bring myself to be the one to end it.”

I smile slightly as I tell them, “Tianna loved me enough to do it for me and in a way that I think most of us can and will be able to live with in the end.  I think if it works as she intended, and so far as I can tell, in regards to my own experiences, it will work exactly as she intended, then ultimately we’ll be better and stronger people, worthy of the gift of immortality.”

My smile widens before I say, “I also think our family will be much stronger for having experienced all of our various lives.  That doesn’t even take into account that we all met you guys and basically doubled the size of our family with honorable and noble people who can and have taught at least some of us, i.e. me, very valuable lessons that we sorely needed to learn.”

They’re all nodding but I can tell they don’t understand just how much of a difference they really made where I’m concerned.  I pause for a minute and consider how to explain it properly, “I can tell you guys aren’t giving yourselves the proper credit your due.  Consider this, I, as Damon, fed from Vicki twice.  The only reason I didn’t kill her the first time was because I knew it would make things difficult for Stefan.”

I frown and tell them, “The second time, I was starved for a week, and I thought I had killed her, but she somehow managed to survive, so to heal her I fed her my blood.  If I had stopped there she’d still be alive, but I was bored and lonely so I snapped her neck and killed her knowing she’d wake in transition and not be able to resist the bloodlust.  I knew she was the last person I should be making into a Vampire, her addictions alone told me she’d probably be a Ripper, but I still did it.”

My frown deepens as I tell them, “I had convinced myself that it didn’t matter.  That whether I killed her didn’t matter.  Elena and Jeremy’s obvious pain over her death made me see that it did matter, and when Elena said the actual words, ‘It matters and you know it,’ I felt a physical pain in my chest because I realized I was deluding myself all those years and it really did matter.  That’s why I offered to compel you Jer, I was in the process of realizing everything mattered in ways I hadn’t realized and I wanted to try to undo the pain I had caused you.”

I pause and then explain, “If Elena or Stefan would have allowed it I would have done the same to Elena too.  And not just because I didn’t want either of you to know what I had done, but more so because I knew you were feeling a pain similar to my own in a way.  I suddenly cared and wanted to keep that pain away from you both as much as I could.  While it didn’t occur to me before I killed her that anything mattered as I stared down at her laying on the ground with a stake sticking out of her chest and Elena’s words ringing in my ears and my cheek still hot from her slap I suddenly realized every death I had ever caused truly mattered.  With shocking clarity, I finally understood the pain and destruction I had caused for almost a century and a half.”

I smile just slightly as I look Ric in the eyes and admit to how stubborn I am, “Now admittedly I’m a stubborn ass so I fought those realizations hard and tried to continue to delude myself for a while longer.  But Ric showed me similar truths with the obvious pain he felt over Isobel and his willingness to risk his life for others.  He obviously thought it mattered just as Elena did.”

My smile turns into a frown as I remember the night of Founder’s Day and I turn to look Care in the eyes and tell her, “I surprised myself by caring about Anna and wanting to save her.  Then later in the night when I found out that Care, Ty, and Matt were in the car accident I further shocked myself by actually caring about whether any of you survived.  The shocks just kept coming though because I was honestly surprised that the answer was I wanted all three of you to live.  That was a bit of a wakeup call because then I realized that not only did life matter, but there were specific lives that mattered more to me.”

I turn and look at Ty before saying, “I know I didn’t know you and Matt very well at the time but even your lives meant something to me at that point.”

I turn back to look at Caroline, “That’s why I offered to feed you my blood Care because I heard the doctor tell Liz there was only a 20% chance you’d make it through the night and dammit I wanted you to live.  It didn’t even matter to me how annoying I found you back then and how down right mean and horrible I had been to you.  You wonder of wonders actually mattered to me.”

She has tears in her eyes as I look her in the eyes again and tell her, “And while I’m at it I’m sorry I took for granted that you’d be safe in the hospital.  I had no clue at the time that Katherine was back.  However, I should have made sure you really were safe, but part of my not doing that was that I was still trying to convince myself that none of it mattered, so after I fed you my blood I had to get out of there, or there’d be no denying that it and you mattered.”

I turn back to face Bonnie to my right and tell her, “Then your pain, Bonnie, when you realized she was a Vamp and had killed someone, well that mattered too.  As you were frying my brain and trying to set me on fire, I realized your pain mattered too, and if you thought I should die for what I had done, maybe you were right.  You basically shoved a mirror in my face and showed me who and what I had been.  You were acting as my conscience by frying my brain anytime I did something ‘evil’ and even that made me realize that hey you know what Elena, Jeremy, and Ric aren’t the only ones who think it matters.  Suddenly everything I had worked so hard at convincing myself didn’t matter for the last almost 150 years suddenly took on new meaning.”

I turn to face Jeremy standing on the other side of the counter across from me and tell him, “I found myself just showing up at the Gilbert’s house and just ‘chilling’ with you Jer, even and especially when Elena wasn’t home and in many cases would never know I had been by and acted like a decent person.  Then the weirdest thing happened, I’d be talking to you and I’d actually care what you were saying, which for the record I never cared what Humans had to say before you Jer.  They were just a meal and maybe a fuck or in the case of my aliases and their families there to keep a buffer between me and my enemies.”

I look around the room at the stunned faces of my family and tell them all, “Every single last one of you helped turn my switch back on and then break it in the on position.  I know I wasn’t anything like Damon as Drago but by being Damon and seeing things from the perspective the rest of my family was viewing the world from for so long and then seeing it through all of you made me as Damon and therefore me as Drago a better man.  You made me realize every life matters and I still don’t think you’re grasping just how amazing what each of you did for me as Damon truly was.”

I pause for a second then try to finish explaining, “Not only did you show me that everything mattered but wonder of wonders suddenly I mattered too.  There were people willing to fight for me, beg for my life, and jump through fire to keep me from being ended.  No one but Stefan when we were Human had ever cared about Damon like that.  Suddenly I was loved and that was foreign to me and that foreignness was also contributing to my reluctance to accept everything you were trying to teach me because I have to admit feeling loved for the first time after 150 years of not being loved by anyone was really strange.  It kind of hurt in a weird way at first until suddenly it didn’t hurt anymore and it felt amazing.  You guys did the impossible and turned a monster back into a decent person.”

I smile and tell them all, “I don’t think I can ever truly thank you enough for what you all showed me and for actually bothering to look beyond the surface and see beneath the monstrous façade I wore to the man I had been and apparently could be again.  I honestly thought that that man was lost forever, but you guys apparently knew different and set your minds to proving it to me.  So thank you.”

They all look stunned by my admissions so I keep working on filling and rolling the pasta until finally they all seem to shake themselves from their thoughts and a few of them whisper “Wow.”

Elena walks to me and hugs me from behind so I put the spoon down and turn to face her and hug her back and then slowly all of them pile on and I’m in the middle of my first group hug.  I laugh and tell them, “Here’s another first because I’ve never actually been in a group hug before.”

They all laugh at that and after another minute or two they slowly pull a way as Bonnie smiles and says, “Wow, just wow.  I had no idea what you were going through, even with your memories now I didn’t truly understand the fundamental change you went through as Damon.”

Everyone nods deeply as Care adds, “For the record, I was never mad at you for not keeping guard over me in the hospital.  That expectation that I’d be safe there was, in my opinion, a reasonable one.  So just so you know I don’t blame you for my ending up a Vampire.  That falls on Katherine alone, well her and Klaus since she did it to give him a Vamp to sacrifice.”

She smiles and then says, “I wouldn’t be here at all if you hadn’t fed me your blood, so in the long run it all worked out.  I mean don’t get me wrong I wish Carter hadn’t died, but I’d rather be a Vamp and still be ‘alive’ than be Human and permanently dead, especially now that I seem to have the bloodlust mostly under control.”

I nod and tell her, “Thank you for not being mad about it.”

She smiles and says, “Oh I was and still am mad but not at you, saving my life was your ‘fault’ but turning me into a Vampire is not now nor has it ever been your fault.”

I nod and Bonnie adds in, “I should probably apologize for trying to kill you when I discovered she was a Vamp.  I honestly thought you had killed her on purpose and I was so upset that she had killed someone that I just reacted and badly at that.”

I smile and tell her, “After what I did to Vicki I wasn’t surprised that you or anyone else might think I had done it on purpose, so I forgave you for trying to kill me pretty quickly.  Especially since I found myself caring that she had been murdered and turned into a Vamp so I could understand a little where you were coming from because if I had had an opportunity to kill Katherine right after I found out about Care I probably would have done it.”

She nods and then Elena asks, “Exactly how often did you show up at our house?”

I smile and chuckle a little, “Pretty much any time I thought Jer would be home especially if I knew you were with Stefan at the boarding house or otherwise out of the house.  He mattered to me and I knew he had lost a lot of people so I wanted him to know he wasn’t alone even if I wasn’t ready to say those words or even really admit that I felt that way.”

She leans up and kisses my cheek, “Thank you.”

I smile, “I didn’t do it for you, but you’re welcome.”

Jer laughs and says, “Thank you, Brother, for caring even if you couldn’t admit it.”

I laugh back and tell him, “Thanks for not staking me the first chance you had.”

He smiles and says, “Yeah sure, no problem.”

I look around the room and Ric has a big smile on his face, but Ty is sort of smiling and frowning at the same time, in fact he kind of looks like he’s in pain so I ask, “You okay Ty?  You kind of look like you’re in pain.”

He nods, “I just, I didn’t know about most of what you just said.  I mean I knew the very broad basics of what had happened but you filled in some pretty big holes just now so it just kind of came as a shock, but I’m okay.  Thanks for caring whether I lived or died.”

I smile, “You’re welcome, and that offer to fill you in the rest of the way and answer any questions you have, not just about Vicki but about anything that’s happened still stands so feel free to find me some time and I’ll do my best to finish filling in the holes.”

He nods, so I smile and say, “So enough heavy shit for now, back to Elijah, Bonnie, you have a theory about his strength?”

She smiles and as I start placing the rolled manicotti into the cooking dish she says, “Yes, I think he was doing a lot of pretending the whole time he was in Mystic Falls.  He pretended you and yours were nothing to him.  I mean if you think about it he forgave us for daggering him not once but twice far more easily than I think any of us would have.  I think that’s because he knew you were Drago, so he overlooked the repeated slight since he was himself when you weren’t, and he wouldn’t wish you or yours harm.

“I also truly believe he spent the whole time downplaying his abilities for our benefit so as not to spark any questions from anyone, namely you, Drago, and Stefan, who might know well enough to ask.”

I nod and when I look up from the food I notice everyone else is nodding too before I say, “That makes sense.  That must have sucked for him to be so close to us and have to fake not caring.  Even if he doesn’t remember, I’m not sure I’m going to be able to pretend he means nothing to me.  That’s another reason I’m hoping he already broke the spell as I don’t want to risk fucking up his chance of breaking it by not being able to pretend to hate the guy.”

They all smile and nod, and the rest of the dinner prep and the dinner itself are lively with everyone jumping from conversation to conversation as the mood fancies them.  When we finish eating those who didn’t help prepare dinner, namely everyone but Tyler and me, clean it up and then Bonnie and Jer go to their room to get what they need to undo the compulsion I inadvertently placed on Elena.

Honestly, you would think it’d be more involved but we both cut our hands and then ‘Lena drinks the blood after it’s mixed with some herbs.  Then Bonnie does her chanting thing, and the lights go out again.  When they come back on Elena gets dizzy and then she falls into my arms.  I can see in her eyes as the memory forms in her mind and the compulsion is reversed.  I even see something in her very expressive eyes shift but I’m unsure what it means.

My muscles twitch and my mouth is dry as she looks at me for long moments and I’m totally not prepared when she smiles and nods as she tells me, “Damon, I was wrong.  It’s you and it always has been and always will be you, not Stefan.”

My eyes widen as I stare into her eyes searching to see if she’s being honest, and I silently curse Katherine for fucking with my head and heart badly enough that I can’t just go on faith when someone tells me they choose me.  Then when I realize that she’s completely serious and telling me possibly the most honest thing she’s ever told anyone before, I smile a breathtaking smile.  She wraps her arms around me tightly and leans up and seals her vow with a kiss.

We don’t break apart until Care echoes my thoughts and whispers, “Sealed with a kiss even, aww.”

I rest my forehead on ‘Lena’s as I playfully growl, “I just had the best kiss ever so I’m going to ignore your teasing, Sister.”

She giggles and softly tells me, “I didn’t mean to tease I actually think that was the sweetest, most romantic moment I’ve ever seen, even more than The Notebook.”

‘Lena laughs and tells me, “If she’s saying it’s sweeter and more romantic than The Notebook then she really means it because The Notebook is pretty much her favorite romantic movie and the only movie she ever wants to watch anymore.”

All three girls are nodding as Elena continues, “Bonnie and I have probably been forced to watch it with her more than 20 times in the last 12 months and that doesn’t take into account that we took a break from it right after my parents died because I spent the whole movie crying.”

Bonnie’s nodding grows deeper.  As Caroline opens her mouth in an attempt to convince me of how amazing the movie is I cut her off before she can get going.  “Care, I’m a guy, generally the only reason we watch anything romantic is to please our woman.  So unless Elena asks me to watch it, and be assured I will make her work for it, I’m not going to be viewing your favorite movie.”

The guys all nod deeply as all the girls giggle, while ‘Lena pats my cheek, “Don’t worry, Damon.  I promise not to torture you with it unless you really piss me off.”

I give a great big sigh and then promise, “I’ll be on my best behavior, promise.”

After that, we peruse my movie collection and settle for the first The Fast and the Furious movie since it has hot guys for the girls and hot girls, cars, and action for the guys.  I spend the entire movie with a huge smile on my face as I hold Elena against my chest with my arm wrapped around her shoulders.

It’s a good thing I’ve seen the movie before.  I try really hard to focus on it but my fingers keep brushing circles and figure eights over her bare shoulder, so I repeatedly get distracted by every delicious shiver and case of goose flesh that erupts across her skin.  When the movie is over, I have to admit I’m kind of grateful that I can finally stop pretending to pay attention.

I reluctantly ask everyone, “Do you guys want to watch another movie?”

Bonnie shakes her head and says, “No I think I need to go get ready to do my spell,” and then she stands and stretches as she promises, “It’ll only take twenty to thirty minutes to prepare so we’ll meet you in your room.”

She pauses then leans down and whispers to me, “‘Lena can be in the bed too with us if you’re so inclined.  As long as she doesn’t drink the potion she’ll sleep normally.”

I smile and nod to show I heard her as she heads for the stairs.  Jer quickly follows her up the stairs after promising “See you in a few minutes, Damon.”

I nod and tell him, “See you then, Jer.”

As he disappears up the stairs Care’s phone rings and she smiles as she answers and stands to go upstairs to her room.  She pauses mid-walk and waves to us as she asks Liz, “Hey mom, what’s up?”

Tyler’s phone rings next and he groans as he answers and says, “Hey mom, hold on a sec while I go to my room since everyone else is watching a movie.”  He holds the mouthpiece of his phone against his chest and says, “Good night guys, I’ll see you in the morning.”

He stands and Elena waves as he walks up the stairs and he waves back then Ric sighs and gets up telling us, “Well the old Human needs to get some shut eye so he’s on top of his game tomorrow so good night you guys.”

‘Lena smiles and tells him, “Sweet dreams Ric.”

He nods and heads to his room.  Elena is obviously wondering what we’re going to do now that we’re alone, but before I have a chance to say anything she lets out a huge yawn, which causes me to chuckle and say, “I think my Human needs some sleep too.”

She smiles and asks, “Your Human huh?”

I nod seriously and say, “My Human just as I’m your Vampire, Always and Forever, Elena.”

Her eyes widen and before she can stop to consider the intelligence of starting this conversation now she asks, “Do you mean it, really, can you see forever with me, because I realize forever has taken on a whole new meaning now that the man I love is a Vampire.”

Ignoring the fact that she’s Briseis and trusting that the spell will keep her from questioning the validity of my words since she knows Briseis was my wife but doesn’t know she is Briseis I caress her cheek and tell her, “Yes, Elena, I can see myself spending forever with you, loving you ‘til the end of days.  I would never again try to force that on your though.  I’ll allow you to make your own decision on the matter and respect whatever you decide.  Although if you wish to talk about it or ask questions I’ll happily tell you whatever you want to know since as I’ve said before being turned by a Pervonachalnyui means different things than say Care or you being turned by a 170-year-old Damon.”

She smiles and kisses me sweetly before looking into my eyes and telling me, “I know you regretted forcing your blood on me almost as soon as you did it, and I know now you’d never make that mistake again and try to force me to transition.  And I have to be honest, before when I was with Stefan I didn’t see forever or even want it, but the thought of leaving you behind one day when I die, that scares me more than anything else ever has, so I promise to think about it, and if I have any questions I’ll let you know.”

I nod and then lean in for another tender kiss, which she yawns into mid-kiss causing me to chuckle again, “I think your body’s trying to tell me it’s time for you to go to sleep.  Will you sleep in my room with me tonight?  I promise to be a perfect gentleman.  I even have sleep pants I can wear.”

She giggles and tells me, “I’d love to sleep in your bed with you, but what about the spell you guys are planning to do?”

I smile and tell her, “Bonnie says as long as you don’t drink the potion you being there won’t have any effect on the spell, and you’ll sleep normally.”

She smiles and pecks my lips with hers before saying, “Then, yes, I’ll sleep in your room with you.”

I sit back and then stand up before giving her my hand and helping her rise, but her brows furrow and she tilts her head to the side and purses her lips when I begin leading her towards the stairs away from my room.  I smile and say, “I thought we’d go get your things and bring them into my room for ease of access.”

She giggles again and follows me up the stairs as I realize I’d go to the ends of the earth and back again for her.

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